The Christmas Sweater

Sometimes it is crystal clear that things happen for a reason! Perfect example follows….

Earlier, I posted about Christmas and my thoughts on gift giving, tonight’s bedtime story aligned perfectly with my thoughts! Last week we took a trip to the library in search of anything Christmas related: books, music, movies. What we found was very little, it seemed everyone else beat us to it! There was one book left on the Christmas shelf – The Christmas Sweater: A Picture Book written by Glenn Beck and adapted from his novel, A Christmas Sweater. It was a story I’d never heard of before and since it fit our Christmas criteria we didn’t hesitate and home it came.

 

It started out, not surprisingly, about a young boy wishing for a new bicycle for Christmas. Upon       finding out he got a handmade, knitted sweater from his mother he was sorely disappointed. I won’t tell you the entire story but there was a line that completely parallels what I’ve been trying to teach my children about gift giving:

 “See, when a gift is made by hand,
all of that person’s love is captured in it.”

The Squeaky Wheel

The squeaky wheel gets the grease

Ever heard this saying? Basically meaning that those who complain the loudest get the attention/service. Not always true in the case of me, my daughter, and her bicycle…

Once upon a time there was a 6 year old girl who had a bicycle. She loved this bike even though it wasn’t pink or purple or girly in any way whatsoever. She loved it even though it was second hand and rusted and far from shiny. She loved it for the freedom it provided her and because when she rode her bike, she was in complete control.

This is my Kate. She’s quite an amazing little thing for many reasons but this story focuses on her biking skills. She’s been on the coveted “two-wheeler” for nearly a year and has greatly increased her speed and endurance during this time. She’s able to go impressively far (like the 20km route we did today!) and can navigate hills, ruts, and sharp turns on the trails.

So what’s the issue *every story has got to have a conflict right?! In this case, it was the pedal.

From my view riding behind her I could see for awhile now that her pedal was not pivoting. So as a result, every time the pedal went around, she had to lift her foot off and then put it back to replace the intended action of the pedal spinning. Make sense? If not, go out and check out your pedal, imagine if it turned in the larger sense (to move your bike forward) but not in the smaller intended spin to allow the foot to stay on the pedal during a full circle…hopefully I’ve explained this well enough…back to my story…

Kate is not exactly a whiner but doesn’t let things go unnoticed. She pointed out many times that her pedal was not spinning and each time I gave her the same answer. I would remind her where the grease was and that she could spray it at any time just the same as she greases her chain.

Skip ahead approx. 3 months. As we are biking Kate again complains about her pedal in which I again respond with the directions to how she can fix it. She becomes very upset that I don’t just fix it for her or even remind her to grease it when we are home. According to this 6 year old it is soooooo unfair that no one can help her solve this problem. Then, because she’s brilliant, she decides to take matters into her own hands.

At that moment we were stopped at a stop light waiting for the lights to change. We just happened to be stopped right in front of a auto-repair shop. She asks if they would have grease there and if it would cost more than $4 for her to get some (this is how much money is in her wallet at the moment), of course I tell her there is only one way to find out!

We enter the shop and are greeted by a white haired, grease stained man with a very curious look on his face. Far from tall enough to be seen over the counter she begins to tell the man what is wrong with her bike (and how her mother has not fixed it and never reminds her to fix it herself!) and she explains how it slows her down and she can’t go as fast as she used to and how much harder it is going up hills and how it isn’t safe because if her foot is lifted off the pedal then it takes longer to push the pedal backwards to use her brakes because she doesn’t have a hand break because it broke so her mother simply cut the wire and now all she has are backwards pedalling kind of breaks…..this of course is all said to the man as one sentence and all in one breath.

His reply is that she is to bring the bike in once he opens the big door out front. After a quick spray with some WD-40 and a few chuckles from the other guys working in the garage the pedal is finally fixed. She offers her $4 but the man refuses.

As we left the garage and resumed our ride she was quiet. I asked how the pedal was working and without even acknowledging my question she quickly decided, out loud, that she needed to make that man a thank you card and deliver it to him ASAP before he thought she wasn’t thankful or before he forgot about her.

The moral of the story: the pedal might not have been squeaky (it did make an awful grinding noise when you tried to twirl it though) but the kid sure was squeaky about it. She complained and even cried on a few occasions.  Complaining wasn’t enough to get the pedal fixed though, I don’t believe that the squeaky wheel gets anything – maybe elsewhere in life but not in my house! Eventually Kate took matters into her own hands and got the job done. Not only that but she definitely swelled my heart (and head) a little with her gesture of gratitude. My heart because it’s just so darn sweet when kids are, well, sweet! And my head because that is my kid! I made her and I like to think I’ve played a lead role in teaching her to do things like send thank you cards!

Here’s what the card looked like, we’ll be delivering it tomorrow.

   

 

More Words

During our recent trip I found this on the wall in the gallery at Balls Falls Conservation Area. One of my most favourite sayings and definitely something I live by and incorporate into my parenting style. I’ve added it to my Words to Live By page because these are most definitely words to live by.

The Breakup

It’s the most dreaded part of the relationship. When you know that there’s nothing left of it and there’s no point in putting in any more effort. It could be for a number of reasons and even a combination of reasons. Sometimes it’s a defence mechanism, a way to run & hide from the real issues, or sometimes it is truly for the best. It’s time to breakup.

This breakup isn’t with my boyfriend, he’s great and I foresee no breakups happening there! No, this breakup was not that kind of breakup but it was still a significant ending to a long relationship. Today I broke up with my (ex) best friend.

It has been a long time coming. We went to high school together and shared a lot of common interests, beliefs, etc. We had many great times together and were always there for each other when a friend was needed. Over the years we’ve had our share of ups and downs but nothing every tore us apart, we had a very strong relationship. We found in each other what everyone needs (especially through your teen years!) some who could be counted on, was always honest but never judged. We became especially close when I became pregnant. At 17 I was very young and unable to deal with everything alone, she was the one I could count on. She helped me prepare for the biggest life changing challenge I had ever taken on. She was with me through it all. After the birth of my daughter, and after the excitement wore off, she didn’t disappear as most of my other friends did. Aside from her I had very few people in my life. She helped me navigate motherhood & infancy but at the same time was able to remind me that I was only 18 and it was ok to act my age once in awhile. She let me know it was ok to not have my entire life figured out and constantly told me I was doing the right thing and being a great mother.

So if she’s all these great thing I bet your wondering why I ended our friendship aren’t you. Well, things change, people change….and some people don’t.

I think that the bottom line is that we have grown apart.

Physically in that I moved away a year ago and we’ve hardly managed to stay in touch. This happens with a lot of people in life I know but it is the way one deals with this that says a lot about character. There’s a friendship quote I can’t exactly remember (and don’t have time to Google) that says something about true friends being able to pick up right where they left off no matter how much time or distance has passed….this hasn’t been the case. It has been a year since I moved away and I’ve still got nothing but resentment and the “you abandoned me” comments. That makes it hard.

We’ve grown apart in more than just distance though. It has become increasingly difficult to even have a conversation because we aren’t on the same page. If a chance comes up for us to spend time together her suggestion would be strapping on some sexy heels and tight fitting, short dresses to go to a bar and dance the night away. This is no way interests me. I’d much prefer taking our dogs for a walk and just see where we end up, drink coffee and chit chat about life and love and children and…basically not be groped by men at a bar. Not to say that friends need to be interested in all the same things and like the same things but what we have become is complete polar opposites.

I don’t think that to be friends you have to be similar to each other but I do think that complimentary traits are key. You don’t need to enjoy the exact same activities but I do think that the underlying beliefs and values must be similar. This is where we differ greatly and as a result it has become clear that there is nothing left.

She isn’t the type of person I’d like in my life. My mantra “Taking big steps, making big changes” sometimes means tough changes. The life I want to create for myself and my children is a positive one that she doesn’t fit in to. And it has become clear that I don’t offer her what I used to. I am no longer that non-judgemental, always there for you, no matter what, type of friend she first found in me.

It is sad it has to come to this but all good things come to an end. I enjoyed the time we shared while it lasted and will cherish the memories. I’ll keep her pictures in my frames and always treasure her for what she’s done for me.

Have you ever had to breakup with a friend? This is my first experience but I think that in the end, it is best for us both.

Breakups are never easy.

Teeth & Fairies

Tonight marks the losing of tooth #6 for my daughter. Maybe 7. Either way, she lost a tooth and I had no change *Canadian remember so unless a tooth gets $5 we use change! 

So nickels & dimes it was until I finally reach our standard $1.

I should really know better, with 3 wiggly teeth all at once I should be prepared! And after our last lost tooth incident…

                Once upon a time, my daughter had no wiggly teeth. There appeared no need for keeping spare change on hand in the jar atop the fridge.

On an early summer evening this young daughter of mine decided to help her little brother open his new water bottle (which was not yet broken in!). The cap was tight but determined she was. After several failed attempts she chose to use her teeth although her mother often tells her to “Never use your teeth as tools” as her mother told her and her mother told her.

The blood came quick and the tooth was yanked from it’s roots. Tears quickly followed. The daughter was consoled yet reminded that, “that’s why we don’t use our teeth as tools!” Once the tooth fairy was mentioned all was better and the crisis was cleared up.

An excited child sleeping with her tooth under her pillow and a mother frantically searching for a the loonie. The house was dry. The purse, the spare change jar, the dresser where pockets were often emptied, even the car was broke! Then that amazing mother got an idea – the laundry room! There is a ledge in the laundry room beside the washer which often collects spare bottom of the washer change.

Bingo! A loonie. But while the mother was there, she figured she should get to work on the unimaginable mountain of laundry needing folding, washing, etc. Once the laundry was done mother decided to call it a night.

6:30am bedside alarm goes off. 6:45am mother’s internal alarm goes off! Mother jumps out of the shower and races to the laundry room 4 levels below (it’s a split level townhouse with 6 levels total = built in stairmaster!). Back up 3 levels to the daughters room she quickly realizes she is too late. The daughter sits with her tooth in hand, stricken look upon her face. Quick on her feet mother places the loonite just outside the bedroom quietly then enters the room throwing her arms up in the air with a loud “oh my goodness!” and a quick explanation about how the tooth fairy couldn’t have entered the room because the fan was on but the was a surprise in the hal, cleared everything up.

The moral of the story: Thank goodness for gullible kids! And always have spare change on hand!!!

*funny side note, I stumbled upon this cute story also about the tooth fairy slacking on the job! 

Today’s Style

This morning I was asked something I’m sure other mothers have been asked: “How come you don’t wear that necklace I made for you?”

My son put a combination of beads on string for my mothers day present this year. The best part was that he glitter painted a large sea shell to be in the centre of the shell and placed the beads around it. The kid has definitely got an eye for style! I absolutely love it and it makes my heart melt to think of the effort and thought he put into it.

It is one thing to love the little things your kids make (paintings, crafts, etc.) but it’s another thing to wear it out in public to school or work. But how do you explain this to your child?

Well I thought I had the perfect solution with my daughter. My response was always that Mommy didn’t want to ruin or loose something so special so instead of wearing it out I’d only wear it in the house and it’d stay in a special box in my room. Worked every time!

However, now with my son things are a little different. Mainly because he’s got his older, wiser, more cynical sister. So when I feed him my lines she is quick to point out that mommy wouldn’t want to wear something like that because people would laugh at me (darn school has tainted her already!)

So this morning I put the necklace on and was instructed, by the creator himself, to wear it all day long! I agreed. In chimed sister with her explanation of how I’d probably only wear it when he was around and not when I was at school today *darn! I wiped his tears -he’s a bit of a softy – and promised to wear it the entire day. And if anyone asks me, I’ll let them know my son made it for me.

So today I’m keeping my word. I got many compliments from the other children at Sawyer’s school when I dropped him off and a few grins from fellow parents. Some comments from the ladies at the coffee shop followed by the “aww”‘s once they found out where it came from. Walking on campus I’ve gotten a few funny looks but nonetheless, I’m keeping my promise!