Yes I have a diary and I write in it often. Nothing too special, you know, just my innermost thoughts, feelings, dreams, and aspirations. And of course the darker side of my days, the anger, bitterness, and grudges I sometimes can’t let go of.
I don’t actually write “Dear Diary” and in fact I don’t actually call it a diary. I call it a journal, or sometimes, if my kids are asking me what I’m writing I call it my homework (I know, lying is awful. Just another Bad Mommy Moment…). Basically I use it to talk to myself and I feel no shame in that.
Keeping a diary/journal if often seen as a juvenile task. It is something that young girls do. A place where they write who they’ve got a crush on or which teacher they admire or despise. A place where they keep their secret dreams and hopes along with their biggest fears. But these are all things we experience throughout life, not just as 11 year old girls (or boys!) so why then must we give up this past-time as we age? Well I for one haven’t and don’t think I ever will.
My Father’s Grandmother, whom I never knew, kept a daily log where she wrote about the weather and the daily happenings. What was for dinner, who had a baby, what the sermon was about at church, who came over to play cards, etc. It wasn’t much, just a few short sentences, but it was every single day. I’ve read many of these journals she kept and they amaze me. While reading you don’t get a sense of he personal thoughts, feelings, or opinions (perhaps a reflection of the time/society she lives in) but you do get a glimpse into the life of a growing, hard working family.
I’ve never thrown out any of my journals, although I’ve really wanted to! Sometimes I re-read past books and am overcome with pride in myself and the way I thought as a young dreamer. Or I’ll be embarrassed with the reckless & foolish outlook I had as a naive 14 year old rebel. I’m often moved to tears as I read my accounts of pregnancies & childbirth. So many small details that are so easily forgotten throughout the years and so treasured once recalled.
No matter what feelings are invoked, I treasure my pages of tales & truths that no one else has seen or read and I plan to continue adding to them.
**Sometimes a post shows up in my reader that directly reflects one I’ve got in my drafts! This post came up in my Reader this evening and I figured I would finally get around to finishing/publishing my similar post. Glad to read I’m not the only adult who enjoys writing in a journal! And for the record, you should check out the other posts from Feisty Red Hair, she’s one of my favourite bloggers!